Missing Zambia

How is it possible to miss a place so much when it isn't your "home"? How can you ache for a people you have only known a short time? How is it possible to be this homesick when I have everything I could ever want right here in front of me? And yet there is this nagging pull on my heart and ache deep inside me to return to this place that's stolen my heart. I think God has shown me a vision for more then this, this culture that we are so submerged in, that is filled with entertainment, instant gratification, and where we have everything given to us so easily. I have experienced the simple life of just living day to day, where the future is not guarantied, and you are dependent on God for everything. I miss that daily reminder of trusting God. I have been sucked back into this American culture and I want to fight it with all that's in me. God has called each of us to live a simple life, dependent upon Him, and seeking to bring Him glory with everything that's within us, DAILY. I'm so thankful for the season of being in Zambia and look forward to the day when, Lord willing, I'll return. I'm so ready to pack up and go today but that's not where God has led me right now so I wait...resting in Him and looking to His hand for direction as I walk the path He has laid out before me.

Coming home

I've been home 4 days. Jet lag is wearing off and I'm getting caught up on sleep but my heart is still in Zambia. A lot of people have asked me if I'm happy to be home and I have to honestly say it's been a battle for joy. Of course I'm happy to see my dear family and all my friends but my heart aches for Zambia. It's been harder then I could have imagined coming home. I fought back tears during my 35hrs of travel back home, not knowing when I'll be able to return to the kids I love. They gave me the sweetest gifts to remember them by, and that I will always do. They have my constant prayers, prayers for their protection and for God to continue the work He is doing in their lives. I have had so much to process through since coming home but God has been faithful to answer my prayers for joy and peace as I step into the calling He has here for me. As time is passing it's getting easier being home and doing life in the states. I'm reconnecting and pressing into the Lord even more as I seek what the future holds for me. I'm so grateful for the memories and time spent in Zambia, it's a blessing that I didn't deserve but God graciously gave me. I don't know when I'll be able to return but Lord willing it will be next summer. I would ask you to please continue to pray for me as I head to Egypt a week from today and then start summer college classes at Southwestern Seminary. I'm excited for all this new chapter in life holds. I also would ask you to prayer for Mercy and the kids there as they start back to school on the 7th. Thank you again for all your prayers and support, they mean more then you will ever know.

Last weekend in Lusaka

Tomorrow is my last full day in Zambia and I am going to miss this place and the people so much. I have been sick this week and the kids told me today that because I’m sick I can’t fly home now and have to stay J. This past weekend was really busy!! On Saturday we drove out to the bush to visit a village about an hour away, mostly traveling on dirt roads. We finally made it and what a welcome was waiting for us. This is a village that Mercy Ministries has taken on to help support. They are starting a school so we brought out some supplies and food from Mercy. We had a great time of worship and fellowship. It’s so hard to put into words how amazing it is to worship with brothers and sisters from other countries. I could feel the Spirit of the Lord in that little church as we worshiped our great God. We ate lunch with them and my mom tried nshima for the first time. They gave to us out of the little they had and I felt so humbled to be able to share that day with them.

 (Driving through beautiful country)

 (The school/church building)

 (Dorothy starting to distribute clothes to the women)

The next morning we went with a friend to a church service at an orphanage/school. It was amazing to be led into the Throne Room of our King in worship these kids. They have the sweetest spirit and joy of the Lord. The pastor continually reiterated in his sermon how we are special, treasured, loved, and have a purpose because of Christ. It doesn’t matter our past or where we have come from, if we have put our faith in Christ then we are secure, we have a hope and a future and neither satan or any human can take these kids or us out of the hand of GOD! After the service we headed out to a game park for the afternoon. We were able to see some amazing animals and more of God’s beautiful creation.

I said more goodbyes last night, I definitely am going to miss these new friends God has blessed me with. But I’m thankful for all the great memories and all that God has done through the last month and a half and look forward to all He will continue to do in the future!

Thankfulness.

It's my last week here in Zambia and my heart has been overflowing with gratitude. Thankfulness that my mom arrived safely, for the amazing time I have had here, for new friends, for moments to love on the kids and see them grow as they learn new skills, and for moments of being submerged in a new culture and learning to love it. Today I just kept saying "thank you Lord" as things would happen that would just make me smile with gratitude that I am where I am. I have been so incredibly blessed to experience all that I have and to have met the amazing people I have. I said my first goodbye tonight and I'm not looking forward to many more in the next few days before I leave, but I am so very thankful for the new friends I've made and the reconnecting of old friends. I have been encouraged, sharpened spiritually, and challenged by the people I've met and grateful for the ways they have blessed my life. It's been so great having my mom come and visit and see all the places and people she has heard so much about. We picked her up from the airport on Wednesday and we have been going nonstop since then :). Today she got to meet all the girls at school and work with the grannies. Jessica and I went to pick up pizzas today for some of the teachers, kids, and grannies. It was fun hearing pizza being explained to the grannies and watching them eat it for probably the first time ever. The bags are now in full production so I'll hopefully be bringing some home with me to sell (hint hint :) ).

I know there are so many of you faithfully praying for me and now my mom while we are here and for the school and kids. I want to thank you so much! I can feel your prayers and see them at work in the ministry. Would you please to continue to pray that I will be able to finish up last minute things next week and grace to say goodbye, at least for now? I'm not good at saying goodbye and I know it's going to be really hard to leave but I'm praising the Lord for His continued hand of direction during this new season in my life. I'm grateful for this time and grateful for coming home and what He has next for me!

Love from Zambia!

Morning in the sewing room

As I  have spent more time here I have slowly been learning the background stories of some of the kids. My heart has broken for these kids who have been through so much pain and suffering. I wish I could bring them home with me or just "fix" the problems and make it all better. But I've been reminded that that's not my job. I am only one person and can only do so much but I have a God who is bigger and stronger then these awful things. He rules and He reigns sovereign over every one of these children. There is one girl who always has the biggest smile on her face and can always make me laugh with her expressions and antics. You would never know by looking at her that her short life has been filled with heartbreak and pain. I have asked myself, how can she be so happy when her life has been so hard? But it's as if the Lord has told me "Yes her life has been hard but she has a FATHER who is watching over her and she has never been left alone!" She has a reason to smile and be happy even though her life is hard because she has a God who loves her and nothing can separate her from this love. This morning I worked in the sewing room with the girls, as we do every morning, but today Jessica went into town to buy more materials for sewing and I stayed with the girls. The school was quiet with all the kids on break and it was a good chance to spend quality time with the older girls. As I listened to them rattle off in Nyanja I had no idea what they were saying :) but I could here the laughter in their voices as they worked beautiful creations with their hands. I just listened to the conversation and prayed for them, for their protection and for them to know how much they are loved by their Father. There is a song the kids love to sing here and it's my favorite because it speaks of the HOPE they have in Christ. 

Jesus, You're my firm foundation
I know I can stand secure
Jesus, You're my firm foundation
I put my hope in Your Holy Word
I put my hope in Your Holy Word

I have a living hope, I have a future
God has a plan for me
Of this I'm sure, of this I'm sure

Your word is faithful, mighty with power
God will deliver me,
Of this I'm sure, of this I'm sure

Easter week

Happy belated Easter! I missed spending this special day at home but I was so blessed to spend it with new friends and in God's amazing creation. I traveled with some friends to lake Malawi for a long weekend away. We had a great time of relaxing and enjoying the lake. I got up for the Easter sunrise which I think was a first for me and it was well worth getting up for! I felt so surrounded and overwhelmed everywhere I turned by God's incredible creation from the full moon reflecting off the water and the amazing stars every night to the islands and beautiful scenery everywhere I turned. Our God is so amazing with the way He has created these things for us to enjoy when we take the time to notice. That's one thing I have learned while being here, I need to slow down. At least for me I find myself thriving on being busy ALL the time in the states. I'm not saying being busy is bad but just for me I need to take time to slow down and be still before the Lord. He has so much for me if I will simply be still and wait on Him. This is something I need to continually be reminded of. Everything is so much more laid back here so it's been good for me to be forced to slow down.

Sewing lessons started off well this past week and the girls are loving it. We were expecting the usual 15 or so girls to come but we had close to 40 on Thursday! It was crazy but it was a great time. One of the guys is in the process of repainting the sewing room so we have been doing more hand sewing projects like the flowers and headbands so hopefully if the painting is done we will be able to start work on bags etc tomorrow. Thank you all for your continued prayers! Here are a few pics from this past week...

This week marked the last days of school for the kids until May. They were all busy studying hard and taking exams. The older kids will still be coming up to school some during the break for sewing lessons and football (soccer) camp. This is a picture of the girls taking a sewing class from a lady who comes once a week. They are learning to make dolls. 

 The reception class taking their tests.

I spent a lot of time earlier this week playing with the younger kids since they won't be coming up to school during the break. 

 with my buddy Dean

 So I can't figure out how to turn this pic around but this is Bupe, Dorothy's granddaughter. She comes up to school every afternoon. I think I could fit her in my suitcase and bring her home for a while :)

This afternoon after church we went to a Lodge that also is a home for baby orphan elephants. They were so little and cute!

This next week we start sewing lessons everyday with the older girls. We are planning on making headbands, bags, and pillows. The girls are so excited to get started and so am I! 

I can't believe I've already been here two weeks! Where is the time going? On Friday a guy named "Uncle Bob" who gathers food donations for the local schools came and delivered bananas, trail mix, and chips for the kids. We helped pass out the food and it was so cute seeing the little ones holding out the bottom of their shirt so they could carry as many chips as possible. The youngest class at Mercy is pre k but the kids are so tiny, mostly because of their growth being stunted due to not enough nutrients in the little food they receive, that they look about more about 3. I spent time with the younger grades during their break yesterday and loved learning some of their games. They have so much joy and I love just being withe them, even when I don't know what's going on due to the language barrier. We played some game where you go around and name different things and I thought we were still naming fruit but I guess at some point they changed to countries so when I said mango instead of like Zambia or the US they all go quite a laugh out of that ;). Later that morning I helped in the sewing room where the girls are still working on making dolls. They are coming along well and hopefully I can get some pics uploaded soon. They are all really excited about learning to make bags and headbands in April. In the afternoon I helped Marcia with her class where they are finishing up talking about the Easter story. I love hearing the words of truth come from these older kids and see the realization come into their eyes of the what Christ did on the cross and that He is risen and coming again!

Here are a few prayer requests y'all can pray for. Jessica was rear ended the weekend before I got here and her car is still in the shop. They keep saying it will be done "tomorrow" but tomorrow still hasn't come. She is at the shop now hoping to pick it up today but they keep having problems with it. We have been able to borrow rides up until now but it would be great to have her car back. Please pray we will get it back this morning and there won't be any more problems. Also will you pray for the grade 6 &7 girls as they are learning to sew? That they will have creativity and patience while learning this new skill. Eventually we are hoping that the profit from the things they make and sell will be put into a school fund to pay for their higher education. Thank you so much!!!

Sewing projects

This past week we have been working on a project for the grannies at the school. They need a way to be able to buy mealie meal, which is similar to cornmeal, so they can provide for themselves. Jessica came up with the idea of making rugs and bowls using a hula hoop and chitenge. So in our free time Jessica and I have been making samples to show and teach the grannies how to make these things. Yesterday we went to the market where the locals buy (and was that an experience!) and bought more chitenge to make the rugs and more stuffed animals. This morning we brought all the supplies up to school, but as soon as we showed the grannies the new chitenges they got so excited!! They wanted to trade in their old, dirty, faded chitenge they wear everyday for the new ones we bought. We said it was ok because it didn't matter what kind we make the rugs out of. They couldn't stop smiling and showing off their new skirts :). It reminded me of how Jesus freely took our old, filthy, dirty, sin and has clothed us with new robes (or chitenges), and has taken away our sin! And now what joy we have, just like these women. Here are a few photos we took while making rugs :)

Some of the kids also received new uniforms for football (soccer) and they were so proud! This is grade 6 and 7. 

I'm loving every minute of being here! I'm working on sewing projects for the grade 6 girls who want to learn how to sew on a machine during the break in April. I've also been spending time helping out with an extra curricular class a couple days this week. Next week the kids have exams so they are all studying hard this week!

Hello from Lusaka!

I arrived safely here in Lusaka on Thursday and things are going well.  My flight went smoothly but I was so happy to get off that flight and breath in some fresh air.  Jessica picked me up at 6:30am and we headed to her house so I could shower and get settled in. We then went out to Mercy Ministries. It was so good to see many of the people I met last year.  They showed me around and I saw all the new things that are going on at school.  I was able to talk to Dorothy who started the school and it was so good to catch up with her. She has an incredibly strong faith in the Lord and such a grateful spirit for everything.

            On Friday we had the privilege of tagging along with a friend of Jessica named Marcia and a lady who takes care of her home and fixes their meals named Ruth. We drove down to Livingstone (6hr drive) and saw Victoria Falls. This was a birthday present for Ruth who had never seen the falls or even been very far from Lusaka. It was so fun seeing everything through her eyes! All she kept saying was WOW!! I felt so humbled that I’ve been able to see these falls twice but someone who lives here has never been able to see it even once. I loved seeing her excitement and being blessed to come along. We drove back home today and are settling back in and preparing for the week ahead. 

            This next week we are going to work on a project for the grannies at the school to be able to help bring in income. Jessica has a few ideas so we’ll see what we are able to come up with. We also will be spending time up at school working and reading with the kids. It still feels kind of surreal that I’m actually here but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I’m so excited for this next week and to see all that God does. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support! 

Halfway there!

Hello from London! I'm sitting here in a restaurant eating some dinner and loving hearing all the sounds of England (even if it is just in the airport). My first flight went well and I have just a few more hours before I board my flight to Lusaka. I heard from Jessica, who I'm staying with, and it sounds like we'll be heading to Victoria Falls on Friday to spend the weekend with another missionary friend of hers. I was able to visit these falls last year and so excited to go again. I'm not sure when I'll have internet again so just wanted to update and thank you all for praying!!

Just a few more days

This past week has been filled with coffee dates with friends to catch up with before I leave, last minute trips to the store for supplies and beginning the packing process. I know I'm really excited because I started packing a few days ago and this is definitely a first for me (I always pack the night before I leave). I have been overwhelmed by all the encouragement the Lord has sent my way this week as I'm preparing to go. One of the biggest blessings was meeting with my adopted Memaw so she could pray over me before I leave. This sweet lady has been involved in my life since I was about 5 and is one of the most Godly ladies I know. She is always challenging me to get in the Word and memorize scripture. She prayed verses of scripture over me that God had given her directly for me. I could just see the love of the Lord flowing out of her. One thing she said to me was "Trust God and leave the consequences to Him". God knew I needed to hear that as I leave. I have the assurance that I can step out in faith into what He has called me to and He will handle the consequences. God is so strong in my weakness! Another encouraging thing that happened was on Tuesday while I was picking up supplies and shopping for the trip I had several people ask me about where I was going or what I was doing. It opened the door for me to share about the ministry in Zambia and I was so encouraged by their responses. I'm so grateful for the way God is continuing to confirm His direction. 

Well it's back to packing for me. Thanks to everyone who has been praying for me! My flight leaves at 9pm on Tuesday. 4 days to go!! :)

19 days to go!!

I have officially started the countdown to Zambia and I'm in the teens! Wow, where is the time going? One of my dearest friends gets married this weekend and I can't wait to celebrate with her and her new husband. She has blessed my life in so many ways and I'm honored to stand beside her on the most wonderful day of her life.

I wanted to share a little about the school and ministry I will be working with while in Lusaka. "Mercy Ministries International is a faith-based, non-profit organization that seeks to reach the lost through the gospel of Jesus Christ and serves the needy through care and support." It was founded my Dorothy Phiri who is from Zambia and has the most amazing heart to serve the Lord and meet the deeds of these children. There are about 350 kids that are enrolled at Mercy and most of them are orphaned or only have one parent. Many of them have AIDS or are HIV positive. The kids are all fed a one meal a day at the school, and in many cases, this is the only food they will receive. Often on Monday mornings the kids come to school with no energy and are very lethargic because they haven't eaten all weekend. This just amazes me, especially when we take for granted the 3 meals a day or more we eat here in America. How often do I throw out food that's gone bad just because I didn't have time to eat it all. After coming back from Zambia last summer it gave me a whole new perspective on how incredibly blessed I am by just having clean, healthy food to eat and never having to worry about where my next meal will come from. They also have a sewing ministry at Mercy which helps support the the school and pay the salary of the teachers. I'm really excited to be able to work with the woman and help support them in this way. I know I will learn so much! Here are a few pics to show you from around the school: 

The sewing room

The school

Some of the kids in front of the Mercy Ministries sign that is at the entrance of the school.

Exciting mail

I received my acceptance letter from Southwestern Seminary today! It seems kind of unreal as I see all the details for this new phase of life falling together. I guess I've just thought, talked and prayed about all these different things for so long that it seems so crazy that it's actually happening. God has been so good and faithful in leading me into this new adventure. I get overwhelmed sometimes just thinking about all the changes about to take place with my best friend getting married, leaving for Zambia, going to the Middle East and starting school all in the next 4 months but God is teaching me to take it simply one day at a time (sometimes an hour at a time) and trust Him to take care of all my tomorrows. I'm grateful and excited about this road He is leading me down and I look with full expectation to the future for a deeper revelation of Jesus and to be changed more and more into His character.

Grace

Do you ever feel like you know what God is trying to teach you and why you are going through a trial and then BOOM it's like the light comes on and you realize God is doing something else completely different then you could have imagined. That's where I'm at in life. It's like I try so hard to figure it all out instead of simply resting in Him. I thought I had this whole 2012 thing under control and that I knew what would happen this year and how it would all go down but God obviously has some other plans, good plans that are for His glory and my growth. The more things continue to rock and get turned upside down around me the more I am pressing into Him, knowing I won't survive without Him holding onto me. I have to get on my knees each day to find the grace and strength just for that one day and He has faithfully poured out the grace I have needed but just for that one day. I'm grateful for the hope I have that this new year will be filled with joy, challenge, ups and downs and more of His grace being poured out daily as I seek Him. I have so much to learn and am continually failing but praise God that I can find forgiveness in Him and a fresh start each day.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,11

 ¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; ³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; ⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; ⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; ⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; ⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. ¹¹He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.